I am really a naive woman at heart. I was out with my friend last night and we heard a song by
R. Kelly that I just liked to dance to back in the day when I was "sippin' on coke rum" and enjoying the "freakin' weekend" and just looking for fun. Last night I realized the lyrics are quite sexual. Who knew?
Even though I don't always recognize that a catchy tune is not what I thought, I do also find solace in lyrics of music. This post will reflect some of that. I don't know what the artist had in mind when they wrote the songs, but this is a reflection of what their songs mean to me.
My apparent innocence (?ignorance?)extends to my belief that at heart, people really are good. That throughout the history of the United States of America, we have become a better society. That we finally recognize that all people really are created equal.
I have cried more about the state of our country in the last week than I have in my entire lifetime. It's not that I was so tied to having the first woman President, or that I was fully in support of her policies. I actually hope that President-elect Trump will do something to make people feel better about their own financial status and give the US a sense of safety again against the terrorists of the world.
The problem is, there are quite a few US citizens who consider themselves 'righteous' and rage against Black people/Mexicans/LGBT/Muslims etc, and I believe they are terrorists themselves. The people who are rioting, burning flags and putting others lives at risk...are terrorists. The people who think the new President will bring us back to pre-Civl War days..are terrorists.
Kaleo has a song out that starts "Oh father tell me, do we get what we deserve?" Jokull Julisson has an amazing voice. (I really wish I knew how to put the punctuation in to make the spelling of his name correct. Sorry JJ!!) I will be listening for their songs and lyrics that make me question "what will our self-gratifying behaviors bring in the future?"
This was a Facebook post written by my sister-in-law regarding my niece:
"A phone call from my daughter at 12:30 a.m. last night....hearing the tears in her hello...are you ok???...racial slurs thrown at her as she walked from the bus to her apartment after work...outright feelings of betrayal caused by members of a neighborhood where she once felt "safe"...gone...poof...
In a nanosecond...a mother's fear, protective ways and rage coursed...words of attempted comfort and rallying strength felt so powerless and useless...
Please, someone tell me how to navigate this storm without fear, suspicion and anger becoming our new norm..."
And this was a Facebook post of a young man I used to coach:
"Last night at the bar, an old white man came in and started harassing a black woman who was trying to get a drink. Then he started bragging about how we were "finally going to replace the negro president". I threw his ass out of the bar, but this is exactly what i'm terrified about, and what I've been reading about all over the country today - the election of this man being seen as permission to be openly racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, etc. and i have a lot of friends who now face even more challenges than they already did.
So to my friends who are women, black, brown, gay, trans, queer, anything - I love you, I want us to be part of each others' lives, I want to listen, I want to do better. I'm here, I'm present, I'm ready to keep doing the work."
These are just 2 examples from people I know. What is wrong with (these) people?
I am not completely naive or blameless. I have guy friends who are obnoxious and make crude comments about women that I ignore, because I know at heart they are just preening and I never saw it as harassment. I have been "groped" at bars before. It was harmless (no private parts were touched) but it still invaded personal space. I now wonder why this has been acceptable in my own head? Have we as women encouraged and allowed this behavior, instead of using our brains, so that we may actually be seen and heard?
Green Day has been a long time favorite band of mine. In the song Holiday that was released in 2004, they have forseen "the dawning of the rest of our lives" and it makes me cry. The lyrics remind me of the people who think it's ok to riot, or that it's ok to single out a person for what they believe or who they are. It is a prophecy to what the US has become.
"The representative from California has the floor.
Zieg Heil to the president Gasman
Bombs away is your punishment
Pulverize the Eiffel towers
Who criticize you government
Bang bang goes the broken glass and
Kill all the fags that don't agree
Trials by fire, setting fire
It's not a way that's meant for me."
My brother, who is the most caring and peaceful man I know, said some words of lost hope after this week. When people I care about are scared and hurt, I get defensive. The angst that is going on in the USA right now has me very sad...and angry. I wish the people who think all of this is ok could spend one day in the people they are terrorizing's place. I wish that American's would get over themselves and realize that by acting this way, we are just as bad as the people who attacked-and continue to attack-us.
Even with all of the bullshit that is going on, my reading yesterday from Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life reminded me that I truly believe in forgiveness, hope, and love. I am scared for the direction our world is heading, but deep down, even though I am naive, I agree with Anne Frank that "in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart... I can feel the suffering of millions and yet, if I look up to the heavens, I think that it will all come right."
All of us who call ourselves Americans (except maybe the actual Native Americans) have ancestry from a different part of the world. My mom's father and grandparents came from Italy in the early 20th century because they wanted a better way of life.I know they believed that the USA was the place to provide the freedoms that they did not have in Italy. Ironically, I wish I could spend more time in Italy now.
For my niece who was verbally assaulted last night, for my friends who are gay, for those who are on edge because of their religious beliefs, I repeat what that young man I coached said..."i love you, i want us to be part of each others' lives, i want to listen, i want to do better. i'm here, i'm present, i'm ready to keep doing the work."
For all of my nieces, the girls I've coached, the daughters of my friends and my girlies who are living the dream... know that you are amazing. Boys can gawk at you. They can talk smack. You don't have to respond. You don't have to accept. You don't have to believe that they are the majority of the world. You certainly don't have to dress and act like sex appeal is all that you are about. You are amazing for who YOU are. Hold true to that and don't sell yourself short.
For all of us who feel scared about what is yet to come, Jimmy Eat World, In The Middle has some great words of wisdom: "You know they're all the same. You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in. Live right now. Just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough, for someone else." Keep doing good things. Keep loving, caring and forgiving. Keep looking for the good that is in the world, because it's there.
As I sit here watching the Patriots, who had members who voted differently than me, with the American flag being held strong in center field while the Star Spangled Banner plays, I am crying again for the belief that the USA will remain a place of freedom and equality. I am hopeful that our new President will be a catalyst to bring the country together and make the world a better place to be.
For those who believe that we are one world who are all created equal, keep shining your light and be the change you wish to see.
For those who think it is ok to degrade, humiliate, or even be disrespectful to ANY being in this world, don't follow me. I have no space for your hatred in my life anyways. I am filled to the brim with hope and love for my country.